On being my Own Muse..

Every life on this earth has its own struggle.  Even getting out of the womb is a struggle. I have had mine own. As a child I had to see things which were too much to handle, surprisingly I was able to surpass it. I saw myself well ahead of time. I matured way ahead of time. My crisis then taught me what I should never do. But that doesn't mean I never had my own share of lessons from my mistakes.

As I grew up, I always thought that becoming rich and having the power to dominate is the best thing, no one can touch you. It was may be my aggression that was talking? I was very aggressive as a kid, even more cause of the environment around me. I sometimes hated the fact that why me? Why couldn't I have a stable life then and enjoy my childhood just like any other kid around me? Or why couldn't I pretend that all was ok? But I couldn't because I had the mind to grasp things around me too quickly. When life throws challenges at you at such an early age, you derive your own lessons with time. You don’t want to do same mistakes like others did. True. But you make your own and struggle through that.

Since then it has been the same journey where struggle and compromises became part of my life. It did affect me and people around me especially my family. They had a view, I had a view and hence there was difference of opinion.  It all had to come together one by one. I have been strong all along, but tensed too as to where am I heading and what am I doing. The money thing always bothered me I won’t lie, because I thought then that was greatest thing to have. And that would be the answer to most of the things in my life. Who doesn't? I was not greedy for it but I knew some of my dreams were dependent on it. So I changed my dreams too, it’s ok to do that someone once told me.

This was me years ago. With time I have made myself better of me. I have realized that my thoughts are the greatest gift I will ever have. I gave myself time to think and to analyze what is necessary. I realized that I need to be calmer and reflect on things. I faced the fact that I had more then what many would desire. I have food to eat, a family to love me, friends to support me and most importantly I had my mind with me that helped me to perceive things so differently. What hit me the most is that you don’t need to be loud as a person to prove a point it’s the way you put your words and thoughts out. I learnt how to imbibe positivity, as thinking good will always get you good. I had read “The secret” out of curiosity and found that it teaches you a very simple thing. You just need to think and let out what is best for you. And to be honest it helped me to recognize the power that I had which I  was clueless about.  I let the worries in me go away, that always kept me messed up. When you think good for someone it will happen, just like it did for my Mom.

I feel so successful and happy about me right now. It’s a transformation that comes with age and maturity and time, but you have to push yourself to do it. Start with gratitude and being thankful for your dear ones, for the things that you have, that others are deprived of in many ways. That in itself makes you feel so content. With time I also encountered with the fact that ambition and success have different meanings, they can be different for every person. My reason of being successful relates to all the things I started appreciating around me and all things that I have. For me success has a different meaning altogether. It relates to me being available, appreciating things and my loved ones around. To be successful in redefining relationships and being there for people who actually mean deeply to me. Success for me is finding my way out and broadening my horizons. It’s about uplifting my energy and thought process to a different level altogether. Because these are the things that matter much. Material things will come and go so will your job, money and rest of the things but the key is how you keep yourself in every scenario talks about you. And you are the best person to Judge yourself. Judging ourselves is more difficult then judging anyone else.

Today I don’t feel any kind of aggression in me but only zest to explore my possibilities. I have been control of my own thoughts, I decide where do I need to focus my energy on and what I don’t need to worry about. My mind feels happy all the time. Well at least most of the time. The feeling is just amazing. I never knew it could transform me so much and it just continues to motivate me all the more. A shift in thought can bring about so much of change that sometimes where you are and what you do doesn't matter anymore. As a human being yes I get those genuine feelings when I hear something unhappy or tragic which is reasonable enough no one can challenge that. Those are emotions. But sometimes you feel that even without a reason and that’s the time you need to trick your mind shift your mind to a happy place.

I want to convey a very simple thing; the ability to make yourself what you are completely depends on you. You may have nothing but still you can be happy and that in itself is the biggest success story you can make. The power that we all hold is simply magical with endless possibilities. The thought of having enough automatically leads you to have more. Be rational, be spontaneous you never know how things will unfold. Life is a beautiful gift, which I cherish so much right now. I see myself with people that make me happy, things that excite me and a future that just seems to get better and better every day. My power is limitless. I am limitless.